Full Moon Repeat

As the moonlight seeps past the leaves and onto my porch, I feel you.

I sit back and strike a match.

The echoes of your laughter wrap up into the air around me and dissipate along with the smoke into the cool night breeze that still holds a tinge of winter.

Solitude brings about the memories of seasons past and I feel close again to you.

I close my eyes.

The memory of your touch caressing me I shudder and hear your breath as you move closer to me and I’m filled with stillness.

I open my eyes.

The sky becomes wider as I’m snatched away from your memory and back into the night air.

I blink and shuffle my feet.

As I again close my eyes I lean back into the feeling of your arms wrapped around me as I drift off to the sounds of your contentedness our breathing ebbing and flowing.

But like an aggressive whisper I am quickly reminded of why you are not here with me

I curse into the night.

The words spoken, the actions taken flood into my mind, my heart busts open with no choice but to relieve each harsh and bitter truth.

I sigh and wrestle with my coat.

Why must this be the repeating cycle of each waking moment without you?

What is it that is so intoxicating that I keep choosing to hit replay?

In my absence from your day to day to these same songs repeat for you?

I settle in embracing the stillness of our unknown.

I have known you before, and I will know you again.

I whisper to you and fill the air with my love in hopes that it will span the moonlight and miles into your ear.

I strike another match, and watch the moonlight play in the trees.

Repeat.